Who Cares?

I have been thinking as usual about stuff. If there is anybody who really cares about what we do, who is it? What do they care about? I know this might sound like something that maybe some people never think about, but really, who do we affect by what we do? Sometimes we might have it in the best of our interest when we do certain things but most of the time people tend to only bring up negative thoughts. I know and I have heard people saying that it is none of their business to try to make things sweet for others but should we think that way? People such as our parents go out of their way to make life easier for us, but we sometimes make life impossible for them. How can we be so blind? That's why we in turn should go out of our ways to help and care for others. Some say that those words are what you hear from the Bible and religion but not really. It isn't about a God or not, not really anyway. Wouldn't it be good to live in a world where there will be no corrupted minds? Where there would be less things to worry about? I don't know about you, but I sure would like to see a world like that. I am tired of listening to the news so I don't turn it on anymore. Not one day goes by without them announcing that someone was gunned down or stabbed to death. I am fed up of listening to my friend talk about things that wouldn't be happening if people would just start caring. I am terrified of going alone for a long-distance in a dark area because I can never who might be waiting. I get so scared when I hear noise around the house during the night. It also terrifies me when I have to pass a group of drunk men. What troubles me the most is the though of having to fall in love without barriers and limits only to find out that it is all a stupid game. Will any of this ever go away? I just live with the hope that one day it will all be over. It would fill me with joy to have peace and a sense of unity with the world.

Who Can Give an Answer??

Sometimes it is hard to believe the things that happen. As each day goes by, we experience different things and sometimes they give us strength or they bring us down. Just a few days ago,I was talking to someone and I just can't believe that a person can be so stupid and cold-hearted at once. Having known them for most of my life being away from home, it is unbelievable that they are losing what they had. I know they are paths of life that are inevitable, but not in that way. Whenever I hear about what happens and see what is going on around me, I always tend to feel helpless because I wish that I could do something about it to help them. It's gets so frustrating when I can't even find the words to say to make them feel better. Where will all this lead to? Is there and end to the cruel ways of the world? Those are only some of the many questions I ask myself about life. What ever happened to their heart? What kind of evil invaded? It's just too sad to think about. Not only do I feel for those who are closer to me but also for those I do not know. There were times in the past when people came to my family. We always gave them a place to stay and although I was small at that time and couldn't interact well with them, I still find myself thinking about what happened to them. Where are they now? Did they find what they were searching for? Do they remember that part of their past? Of course they do. Who ever forgets what they live and go through?
When I was younger, I used to think that the life we live is someone's dream. I thought that that someone would wake up one day and everything would be gone. Now I think that I was the one that dreamed a lot. I still do. There are times when I get so mad or disappointed when I just close off myself to everyone around me. I try to come to terms with the evil around but it just won't go. How do I learn to live with this? How do people live with it? More later. . .

Class Trip

Things have been going smoothly so far. I had a class trip this weekend and it was really gooooood!!! Although I have lived in this country my whole life, I have never visisted all national parks and forest reservations. I had always heard about Cockscomb Basin Wildlife Sanctuary but I didn't know what it was or how it even looked. I should be ashamed! Anyway, it's a beautiful place and very peaceful. However, I have to say that climbing Ben's bluff is no joke, at least not for me. I thought I would never make it to the top. Too bad that my camera isn't working properly so I wasn't able to take pictures of the view. It was also interesting to find out that the place is the first Jaguar reserve in the world. Anyway, that wasn't the only place we visited. I know it would have been much more enjoyable if I didn't have this flu.

Strength?!

How good it feels to know that loneliness is gone, but for how long? There are times when I wish everything would remain with the same sweet and loving feeling but I know that that can never be. The joy of having and the pain of loosing goes hand in hand. It is sort of like the balance of life. If the pain doesn't kill us, it makes us stronger. We learn and we live by that. Sometimes though the same strength we gain is harmful both to us and to others. I just hope that that is not the type of strength which i have. But how do I know. What might be good for me is not always good for another. But then again, it is all a part of the picture in the frame.

My thoughts

I am so very glad that I got through this semester. It was a different experience but as usual, I adjust. I have spent most of my time reading more books. I have dropped romance novels for a change. Now I'm reading books that have more information towards my major. I realize I should have started a long time ago. It is very interesting!
I am still trying to understand the cruel ways of the world. I always find myself thinking about what people do to me and others that I know. I just don't understand. I want to leave it as is, but how can I be able to live in peace when they will be there? I have learned to ignore people over the past, but even that I can't do anymore. I am thinking that maybe I should go up to them and demand to know where the root of their problem lies. I know they envy me but for what? I would gladly step down form where I am and let them be here to know how it really is and make my existence in a place far away from their prying eyes.
It's the beginning of the holidays and I dread going home. I would feel much better if I didn't have to see certain people but I cannot avoid them. I wonder if I should even go to that reunion. All I want is to spend time with the family, with nothing to spoil it.
In fact, I shouldn't even be thinking about them. They can say whatever they want. The pain of what they say always goes away. They'll never win