My Holiday

I was so glad when classes were over for the Christmas holiday. I enjoyed myself a lot and now am totally relaxed and ready for the coming semester!! The week I spent in Corozal was good and x-mas day with the family was the best in years!!! When the day came to leave, I was happy and sad at the same time. It's not every time that laughter through tears is experienced.
However, we each have our own lives set before us.
Now tonight is promised with lots of fun also. I am sure it will be great!!!
I was expecting a huge change for this coming year, but it seems that that will not be so. At least not as soon as I was expecting. Perhaps in the latter part of the year. At least that is what I have hopes for now. I shall see what will happen. Besides that, I am still thankful for all that I have at the moment and I will continue to enjoy the presence of all those around me because I don't know for how much longer I will be around. With that said, I would like to wish a HAPPY NEW YEAR full of blessings to all my loved ones.

Life's so Sweeeeeet!!!

It's been a while since I've written anything good. Lost the inspiration. It's the same boring stuff going on, yet it's so sweeeet. I'm glad I don't have to wake up early and get ready to go for work yet. I'm really enjoying these days, since I won't have them again. Ever. Just got one more year of studying and then I'm joining the world of work. I tried it twice, in two different places and settings. I liked it. Even though working in an office can be exciting, I would prefer to be outdoors. Now where can I get a job like that here?? Well, will do what I have to do. For now, I'll just keep enjoying life as it is. I'll face everything else when the time comes.

No More Holiday!

It feels good to be back at school. The change was unexpected, but it feels good somehow. It's probably the green color the wall is painted with. Well, summer was good while it lasted. As I said before, I really needed a break. Now I feel a lot better, and am ready for more schoolwork.
It's always the same. At the beginning of the semester I say no procrastination this time, and it always ends up that way. This time that will not happen. I have to take over my responibilities and get more serious about a lot of things.
There is no more time to be wasted!

Where would I Belong?

What Hogwarts House Would the Sorting Hat Choose for You? Congratulations! You're a Gryffindor! You can make your way to the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and sit with Harry, Hermione, Ron, and the rest of the Weasleys, among others. The Sorting Hat has found within you the potential for great bravery in the face of opposition. Your courage may remain hidden, like that of Neville Longbottom, but it will strengthen you in need. But don't rely on your membership in Gryffindor as a guarantee of steadfastness - remember, Peter Pettigrew was Gryffindor, too. "You might belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart, their daring, nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart." Take the quiz: What Hogwarts House Would the Sorting Hat Choose for You? More Quizzes from FamilyEducation.com

My Days

It's been a long time but I'm making it through. I don't care how much times I have to fall, I'll always get up, dust myself off, and move on. Whatever it takes. Summer is going great to far. I'm glad I get the chance to be away from a classroom for a month. I really needed it. Spending time in a peaceful village has also helped a lot. I miss Cayo too, but I can't be in two places at the same time. I just wish I could. Anyway, Cayo has me most of the time.

A Good Movie

Last night, I got to watch 'THE ULTIMATE GIFT'. I really loved it because it was good enough that it brought tears to my eyes. It was able to stir emotions in me that are not easily felt. There was also a lot of truth and meaning, and a whole lot of other things that people can learn from. It's somewhat part of what we live everyday but we don't really realize for some unknown reason. we always take what we have for granted, without realizing where it comes from. I guess people need togo through a series of testing before we can actually learn to appreciate what we have around us. It would help to make life much sweeter. We'll then be able to see more smiles and less tears of pain and sorrow.

There are a lot of times when I have to either laugh at or scold myself. I was going through my diary book the other day and mein . . . The things I wrote!!! I had to laugh more than necessary, and I also cried. The emotions were so strong!! I can't believe I ever felt such emotions sometimes. They all seem part of another person's life. But, they were mine. I don't feel sorry for any of those times though. In the end, it was what I once wanted the most. Plus, they are what gave meaning to my life. There were some days that I know I will never ever forget, even though I found the necessity to write them down on paper. Maybe one day, someone will read everything about me, but not yet. It's no secret that some have read a few words. Some were too curious to know before I let them have it, so they couldn't read a lot in fear that I would catch them. I do as if I don't know that they've seen a couple pages.
I also realized that the last birthday I spent at home was when I completed 16 years. Not really a big deal. They still get to cook for me, even it isn't my day!!

My Truth

We face difficulties so that we shouold become better, not bitter. Many times people decide that giving up is better, but sad to say that it isn't so. Giving up is one of the worst things that a person can do. Just because things do not work out the first time doesn't meant that it never will. There were times when I thought it was best, but as the years keep going by, I realize how thoughtless I was. The truth now, at least for me, is that I will keep on going no matter what. Even if it feels impossible, I will pray that the Lord give me strength and the courage to continue. There is no mountain that will make me stop and no river is too wide to make it across. Even if it takes me long to get where I'm going, I am comforted by the thought that I will get there someday. Nothing will stop me once I have made up my mind. That's just another point about me. As time goes by, maybe I will decide to share some other points about myself. I feel better already!!!!

Just Some More Random Thoughts

Okay, I have been wasting a lot of time lately when I know I could be doing something else that would be worth the time wasted. This is one thing that I like about this summer. I only have classes for the weekend and have the rest of the week for myself but I still haven't done anything that makes me feel good. The classes are good so far, especially the music class. I have been learning how to play the recorder and I think I have the basics right. So far, I have learned these simple tunes: Mary had a little lamb, Twinkle Twinkle, Ode to Joy (Joyful Joyful) and My Heart Will Go On. At first I didn't listen to music from the centuries before but now that I have heard some of it, I realize that I like them better than the contemporary music. Of all, I think I like Baroque music the best, and the one from Romanticism.
Even though I have spent adequate time with the recorder, I still feel a huge empty space within my circle and sometimes its depressing. Little things are done here and there and I see and associate with some people but I think that's not what i want. Many times before I said I would try to be more open to others but I cannot change who I am. It can be done but only to a certain extent. Everyday I look around me and I see others trying to be like this one, and another trying to be like that one and I get sick of it. It just doesn't make sense to me. I only do what I have to do when I have to. Otherwise, I do with what I have and I live by who I am.
There are so many things that I question in this life and I haven't discovered the answers and maybe never will. I try to live with what comes my way and I guess that's what make things kinda easier. There are times when some people ask why I am always smiling and they wonder if I am ever angry. That's something even myself don't know. It's just being me. I also do things that people wouldn't expect me to do. Me being this shy, quiet person, I don't know what runs through their mind when they look at me now. I remember when I went home for Christmas. There was a fellowship service at the church in Punta Gorda and the congregation from my current homevillage, San Pedro Colombia, was invited. The one from San Antonio too, my ex-homevillage! Anyway, I stepped in the bus and oh my goodness!!! The looks that I got!! I felt as if I had stepped from another planet or something. Jeez!! I always laugh when I remember. It's a part of my life that I guess I will always dislike. Why they do it, I do not know but I leave them be. I live my life the way I see it best. Am just trying to get to my goal and be able to look behind and say 'Yes!! I did it!!'.

Close to the End

It's here once again. These are the times when I am most busy. It seems that I can never learn from my past semesters. Sometimes I get tired of myself waiting for last minute to do my research papers. I don't mind doing the reading part but writing is a different story. No matter how hard I try to put a pen to my paper or to begin typing, I can't get past five or seven lines. That's always the case. However, when I am really running out of time, I tend to do the best!!! At the beginning of every semester I always say that it won't be the same as the last but it ends up that way. It's just me. I always have good results but I still don't want to take that for granted. For now I will concentrate on finishing my paper about the Out of Africa and Eve theory, then I will continue with my ethics journals and somewhere in between I will go to interview more people and write my other paper about The Impacts of Women's Education on Culture. Doesn't sound like a lot but it is. And I also have Statistics to cover. Until then, when the semester is over, I will be able to relax and enjoy the passage of each day. Then I will just wait for the summer days and my holiday!!!! Having classes only for the weekend won't be bad, or so I hope.

Who Cares?

I have been thinking as usual about stuff. If there is anybody who really cares about what we do, who is it? What do they care about? I know this might sound like something that maybe some people never think about, but really, who do we affect by what we do? Sometimes we might have it in the best of our interest when we do certain things but most of the time people tend to only bring up negative thoughts. I know and I have heard people saying that it is none of their business to try to make things sweet for others but should we think that way? People such as our parents go out of their way to make life easier for us, but we sometimes make life impossible for them. How can we be so blind? That's why we in turn should go out of our ways to help and care for others. Some say that those words are what you hear from the Bible and religion but not really. It isn't about a God or not, not really anyway. Wouldn't it be good to live in a world where there will be no corrupted minds? Where there would be less things to worry about? I don't know about you, but I sure would like to see a world like that. I am tired of listening to the news so I don't turn it on anymore. Not one day goes by without them announcing that someone was gunned down or stabbed to death. I am fed up of listening to my friend talk about things that wouldn't be happening if people would just start caring. I am terrified of going alone for a long-distance in a dark area because I can never who might be waiting. I get so scared when I hear noise around the house during the night. It also terrifies me when I have to pass a group of drunk men. What troubles me the most is the though of having to fall in love without barriers and limits only to find out that it is all a stupid game. Will any of this ever go away? I just live with the hope that one day it will all be over. It would fill me with joy to have peace and a sense of unity with the world.

Who Can Give an Answer??

Sometimes it is hard to believe the things that happen. As each day goes by, we experience different things and sometimes they give us strength or they bring us down. Just a few days ago,I was talking to someone and I just can't believe that a person can be so stupid and cold-hearted at once. Having known them for most of my life being away from home, it is unbelievable that they are losing what they had. I know they are paths of life that are inevitable, but not in that way. Whenever I hear about what happens and see what is going on around me, I always tend to feel helpless because I wish that I could do something about it to help them. It's gets so frustrating when I can't even find the words to say to make them feel better. Where will all this lead to? Is there and end to the cruel ways of the world? Those are only some of the many questions I ask myself about life. What ever happened to their heart? What kind of evil invaded? It's just too sad to think about. Not only do I feel for those who are closer to me but also for those I do not know. There were times in the past when people came to my family. We always gave them a place to stay and although I was small at that time and couldn't interact well with them, I still find myself thinking about what happened to them. Where are they now? Did they find what they were searching for? Do they remember that part of their past? Of course they do. Who ever forgets what they live and go through?
When I was younger, I used to think that the life we live is someone's dream. I thought that that someone would wake up one day and everything would be gone. Now I think that I was the one that dreamed a lot. I still do. There are times when I get so mad or disappointed when I just close off myself to everyone around me. I try to come to terms with the evil around but it just won't go. How do I learn to live with this? How do people live with it? More later. . .

Class Trip

Things have been going smoothly so far. I had a class trip this weekend and it was really gooooood!!! Although I have lived in this country my whole life, I have never visisted all national parks and forest reservations. I had always heard about Cockscomb Basin Wildlife Sanctuary but I didn't know what it was or how it even looked. I should be ashamed! Anyway, it's a beautiful place and very peaceful. However, I have to say that climbing Ben's bluff is no joke, at least not for me. I thought I would never make it to the top. Too bad that my camera isn't working properly so I wasn't able to take pictures of the view. It was also interesting to find out that the place is the first Jaguar reserve in the world. Anyway, that wasn't the only place we visited. I know it would have been much more enjoyable if I didn't have this flu.

Strength?!

How good it feels to know that loneliness is gone, but for how long? There are times when I wish everything would remain with the same sweet and loving feeling but I know that that can never be. The joy of having and the pain of loosing goes hand in hand. It is sort of like the balance of life. If the pain doesn't kill us, it makes us stronger. We learn and we live by that. Sometimes though the same strength we gain is harmful both to us and to others. I just hope that that is not the type of strength which i have. But how do I know. What might be good for me is not always good for another. But then again, it is all a part of the picture in the frame.