Just When She Thought

Just when she thought everything was so perfect,
so sweet, so good, pure bliss
And the coldness was just beginning to seep
out of her heart,
And some light was penetrating the thick walls
around her,
to illuminate the darkness she is living in,
And the missing pieces of the bridge was beginning to be replaced,
to allow visitors into the abandoned mansion,
And she was beginning to feel that she belongs,
Everything gets taken away.
It vanished into thin air and she still finds it hard to believe.
She wonders if she will ever find it again.
She feels that her life has no meaning,
It's purposeless without the things she had.
The few things that remain are not enough to
make her happy.
The smile that was once so full of happiness
Is slowly fading away.
How soon will it be till she finds
another source of happiness again?

She'll just have to wait and see.

My Favorite Place

That there is a favorite place of mine. Most of the times I go home, if I have time I get my friends to go there with me. It's at Blue Creek.

Lately I've been missing my old room. I just loved sitting on the bed and looking out the window.
I'm all excited about 2maro. I'll go as a blood-thirsty vampire. I might post some photos of it.

Poem Without Words

These are just random thoughts, saying nothing much or nothing at all.
I feel so good because
1. My English class was canceled. At least I think it was, because the teacher
wasn't in there when I went.
2. I just finished reading a good book.
3. I can't think of another.
If asked why I don't feel good, I'll have a lot more reasons.
I've been wasting so much precious time lately. I haven't even written in my journal book, but nothing much is happening to keep record of.
I have a presentation coming up next week and I don't know who I should dress like yet. I'm all excited about it, but I can't find time to work on it.
I have been receiving phone calls from a person who doesn't want to tell me who he is. I don't like it because it makes me feel as if he is watching every step I take.
I think staying awake all night will help me think better. I love the silence of the night, and the blackness of the dark. It makes me feel protected.
Below is a poem I found when I went home. I decided to put it on this post because it reminded me of times when I should have written something and I didn't do it. Sometimes I feel glad that I didn't do it because if I did it, I would feel much worse. If I did it, I don't know how things would be.

I wanted to write you some words you’d remember
words so alert they’d leap from the paper
and crawl up your shoulder and lie by your ears
and be there to comfort you down through the years.
But it was cloudy that day and I was lazy
and so I stayed in bed just thinking about it.

I wanted to write you and tell you that maybe
love songs from lovers are unnecessary.
We are what we feel and writing it down
seems foolish sometimes without vocal sound.
But I spent the day drinking coffee, thinking about it
and looking in the mirror practicing my smile.

I wanted to write you one last, long love song
that said what I feel one final time.
Not comparing your eyes and mouth to the stars
but telling you only how like yourself you are.
But by the time I thought of it, found a pen and paper,
put the pen to the paper,
you were gone.

And so, this poem has no words.

That was too bad. Wasted time. Just how I wasted and am wasting mine.

When You Left

I stood watching
As you crossed the street
For the last time.
Trying hard to memorize you.
Knowing it would be important.
The way you walked,
The way you looked back over your shoulder at me.

Years later
I would hear the singing of the wind
And that day’s singing would come back.
That time of going would return to me
Every sun-gray day.
December or February it would be the same
For years to come.

Man has not made the kind of bromide
That would let me sleep without your memory
Or written erotically enough
To erase the excitement of just your hands.

These long years later it is worse
For I remember what it was
As well as what it might have been.

Finally

It's here! The moment I was waiting for. This time I'll take advantage of it because it might be the last time I get an opportunity like this. It feels strange now, because it has been almost a year that I haven't been this way. I'll get used to it again, somehow.
So many things!
I have so much work and so much free time and I still haven't done all. When I begin to think of it, I wonder about all the time that was wasted when I could have been doing it.
Because of that, I won't be able to enjoy my visit home.It's been almost two months since I was there. I didn't want to go until x-mas holiday, but my sister convinced me. I miss my family a lot, especially Lyne and Lem.
I think I've had enough changes for right now. It's just too much for me to be able to deal with all of them.
Enjoy the rest of your days.
Halloween is coming up. Take time out to think of the perfect plan to scare someone.
Until then...