My Truth

We face difficulties so that we shouold become better, not bitter. Many times people decide that giving up is better, but sad to say that it isn't so. Giving up is one of the worst things that a person can do. Just because things do not work out the first time doesn't meant that it never will. There were times when I thought it was best, but as the years keep going by, I realize how thoughtless I was. The truth now, at least for me, is that I will keep on going no matter what. Even if it feels impossible, I will pray that the Lord give me strength and the courage to continue. There is no mountain that will make me stop and no river is too wide to make it across. Even if it takes me long to get where I'm going, I am comforted by the thought that I will get there someday. Nothing will stop me once I have made up my mind. That's just another point about me. As time goes by, maybe I will decide to share some other points about myself. I feel better already!!!!

Just Some More Random Thoughts

Okay, I have been wasting a lot of time lately when I know I could be doing something else that would be worth the time wasted. This is one thing that I like about this summer. I only have classes for the weekend and have the rest of the week for myself but I still haven't done anything that makes me feel good. The classes are good so far, especially the music class. I have been learning how to play the recorder and I think I have the basics right. So far, I have learned these simple tunes: Mary had a little lamb, Twinkle Twinkle, Ode to Joy (Joyful Joyful) and My Heart Will Go On. At first I didn't listen to music from the centuries before but now that I have heard some of it, I realize that I like them better than the contemporary music. Of all, I think I like Baroque music the best, and the one from Romanticism.
Even though I have spent adequate time with the recorder, I still feel a huge empty space within my circle and sometimes its depressing. Little things are done here and there and I see and associate with some people but I think that's not what i want. Many times before I said I would try to be more open to others but I cannot change who I am. It can be done but only to a certain extent. Everyday I look around me and I see others trying to be like this one, and another trying to be like that one and I get sick of it. It just doesn't make sense to me. I only do what I have to do when I have to. Otherwise, I do with what I have and I live by who I am.
There are so many things that I question in this life and I haven't discovered the answers and maybe never will. I try to live with what comes my way and I guess that's what make things kinda easier. There are times when some people ask why I am always smiling and they wonder if I am ever angry. That's something even myself don't know. It's just being me. I also do things that people wouldn't expect me to do. Me being this shy, quiet person, I don't know what runs through their mind when they look at me now. I remember when I went home for Christmas. There was a fellowship service at the church in Punta Gorda and the congregation from my current homevillage, San Pedro Colombia, was invited. The one from San Antonio too, my ex-homevillage! Anyway, I stepped in the bus and oh my goodness!!! The looks that I got!! I felt as if I had stepped from another planet or something. Jeez!! I always laugh when I remember. It's a part of my life that I guess I will always dislike. Why they do it, I do not know but I leave them be. I live my life the way I see it best. Am just trying to get to my goal and be able to look behind and say 'Yes!! I did it!!'.