Just Me

Everyone has their own special moments and their worst moments, right? These pictures are my own good moments. Some were captured when I wasn't aware of it and when I look at them, I remember what was happening or what happened afterwards.
This picture was taken in P.G. There was something about the place that made me compare myself to it. Just so alone! I wonder about myself everytime, (might be losing my mind) but I just can't help it.
These days I have been going through a lot of things and I am thinking too much that I feel I am not myself. I feel I have to wake up and come face-to-face with reality. It's like living a dream and waiting for someone to wake me up, and there's no one.

This now, is one of my "masks". I can smile and look like the happiest person, when inside, something is eating me alive. The smile that can fool everyone, or " la sonrisa coqueta", as he told me. It doesn't matter what, if I'm angry, sad, nervous, disappointed, worried, or whatever, I'll just smile, like it's okay with me. And that, is what annoys me. That's because it's not O.K.

You wouldn't guess what happened to me right after this picture was taken!
It was one of the good old days, when I had fewer things to trouble me. This day was full of laughter, heartaches, anger, and much more.
I sometimes wish I can go back in time and change the way how things were and maybe it would be better now. If that was so, I wouldn't have drank from the gallon. But then again, it's things like those that makes the past worth remembering and it makes us laugh at the stupid things we do.


This here is how I waste most of my time. Just staring at something and not thinking about anything. My friends tell me that's not possible, but for me it is.
There are things about me that are just so different from other people. I hear people say they wish they were like this, and they wish they were like that, and some have told me they wish they were like me. Huh! If they only knew about me and the things I go through, I don't think anyone would wish to be like me.
The way I think and the way I do things, are sometimes strange to other people. Most of the time, I feel like a stranger. I feel like I don't belong here, and I always try to keep my distance and keep people out of the little space I managed to keep. But then again, it's just wrong and I know about it.
Most people give up trying with me. But there is one person who never gave up. I wasn't looking for a friend, but she came to me when I needed another soul the most. I was falling into this hole that had no bottom, and I had this big wound that I thought would never heal. She rescued me! I will always be grateful to her for that. She talked a lot of sense into me and told me it wasn't the end of my road.
It was just the beginning. I started clearing another path, and what I have now, is the result. It was just so easy. All those years that went by so wasted, how I wish I can have them back. Anyway, this is just me and I don't care who gives up with me. As long as I'm happy with what I have, I need no more.

This is my friend. The one who opened my eyes and told me about the cruel ways of the world. Thanks to her that I am who I am now. She found me in the right moment. I wonder what life would be like for me if she didn't.